1 In 5 Couples Now Meet On Online Dating Sites...Most (Probably) Aren't Serial Killed

Well, I met a boy.

Online.

I know, I was apparently so desperate that I was willing to brave sycophants and serial killers. But then the weirdest thing happened, I didn't meet a psychopath or a chronic masturbater who lives in his weird uncle's basement...I met a nice guy. Seriously, a genuinely nice guy.

We had both only been on the online dating site for under a week and he messaged me and less than a week later we had met and hit it off. I'm approximately 98% sure now (after a massive amount of texts, tons of phone calls, and half a dozen dates) that he's an actual normal human being.

Color me shocked.

So now we have a problem. I was suppose to stay single. I was suppose to "find myself" and all of that cheesy jazz. I go back and forth with my true feelings for this guy...we'll call him Mr. S.

But I can get over that, I can continue to grow as a person while dating someone else, that I'm sure of. What I can't get over is my perpetual pattern of portraying myself as more "lady-like" or "clean-cut" or "proper" than I actually am. Don't get me wrong, I consider myself a lady...but proper I'm not.

Here are some things that my Mr. S would go into cardiac arrest over:

1. I'm still having a horrible time trying to quit smoking (I know, horrible disgusting habit but it's a crutch I've used for years and it's not like I'm shooting heroine into my eyeballs, so get the fuck over it, I'll quit eventually).

2. I used to date girls. No, not to be trendy or to get attention from guys, I just genuinely am attracted to certain females and dated a few and that was that.

3. I cuss like a fucking sailor.

4. I have a very dirty/sarcastic/cynical sense of humor and love shock value more than my grandma loves her Monday night jazzercize class.

5. I'm on an anti-depressant--yeah, I'm fucked up, but who isn't?

6. I've tried almost all of the drugs under the sun, liked some, hated most, and don't do any anymore.

7. Oh yeah, and I watch porn. Yes, girls watch porn too. It's hot.

So there I have it, the things that would make him run for the hills and some of what I think are the best things about me. Do I pepper-in some of these dazzling tidbits about myself? Do I come clean about everything all at once?

Or do I obsess about it incessantly until my brain is so numb that I don't do anything but crawl into bed for a week or so? <------Yeah, probably that one.

He's a sweet guy, with a good heart and great life goals. I just hope that he can accept my past life, my future goals and my big heart. I guess we'll see...